Manifesto- kinda like a pinky promise


There Will Be Cake is all about...

Second tries and going scared. When we embrace vulnerability we create compassionate spaces of belonging for ourselves and others. Practice being imperfectly courageous. Try, fail, learn, change your mind, change your actions, learn some more, and then practice it all over again. The answers you are looking for will come... they are already in you. 

Trust and connection.  What you do not need is someone to explain your struggles to you. You carry them on your back and in your heart. What you want someone to do is witness. -I see you. I feel you. I am here to walk with you. 

Permission. There is an indescribable grace in allowing yourself the room to mess up, the time to rest, and the permission to continue. You may apologize for your mistakes, but don't ever apologize for being yourself.

Messy hair and messy hearts. There's something about life's messes and imperfections that breaks down our filters and cuts through to our true inner stories. But in those moments when you are scared or lonely or doubtful, when you cannot see your goodness because your mind is full of lies, when you cannot see yourself for who you truly are- ask for a second opinion. I will hold up your reflection and remind you of who you are, that you are loved and are worth loving.

Living with courage. Some people think courage is not caring what anyone thinks. But that's pretty lonely. Of course you care. Thank goodness you have the capacity to care. Courage is being able to hear what others think and still make the choice that is right for you. Even if it scares the pants off you. Pants are overrated anyway.

Kindred. When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me, too!" be sure to cherish them. Because those weirdos are your tribe. We all need a tribe. If you don't have the tribe you need, build one. Trustworthy BFF's, grandmothers, sisters, childhood friends, fellow trauma slayers, neighbors, doctors, teachers, the stranger at the check out lane...anyone and everyone that can safely be there for you, take them in and call them kindred. 

Being human. There is no humanity in perfection. I stand with the people who stand up for other people. The weird, the vulnerable, the lonely, the sick, the afflicted, the helpless- If you're with them, I'm with you. We are not here to learn how to be fearful and separate. We are here to remember that we are always trying to find our way back to each other.

Spirit, Soul, Universe, God. It has been said, spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives. Lean into the sacred- listen, believe, doubt, and question. Above all, seek. 

Cake.  Life is a party as soon as you realize that it is. Sometimes it's a great party and other times it's the worst party ever. But there's always at least one thing you can count on at a party...cake. So look forward to the cake. Find your cake. That's where the joy is.

There is a story I love about a terminally ill young woman preparing for her death. In her final days she met with her pastor to express her wishes for her funeral. She gave the pastor a very special request- She wanted to be buried with a fork in her hand. The pastor was surprised. The young woman explained- in all the years she had attended church socials or potluck dinners, as dishes were being cleared away, someone would inevitably make the announcement, "Keep your fork." It was her favorite part about the event because she knew that meant something even better was coming. Her last wish in this life was for people to see her there in her casket holding her fork and wonder, "What's with the fork?" to which they'd be told:

Keep your fork. The best is yet to come.